Wednesday, April 19

Facing the Mountain

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Standing at the foot of a mountain is daunting. The incline is steep and treacherous, the rocks posing a possible threat to security and safety. The mass that is in front of me appears so ominous and dark; it feels so terrifying and discouraging- how will I ever overcome this mountain?

Yet looking behind me I see the long journey I have trekked to get to this point and although what lies ahead of me is scary, going back down the same worn and rugged path is depressing as well. I have two ways to go- I can either try to walk around the mountain or I can climb the mountain little by little. 

I am definitely scared that I will fail; that I won't be able to make it up the mountain- that it will kill me trying. The mountain seems so big to tackle, what if I can't make it? The journey will be long and potentially emotionally and physically exhausting. Another fear that grips me is the fear of the top. Getting to the top of the mountain is an exhilarating moment; it's a moment where you can see the accumulation of your dedication and hard work pay off for the epiphany and glory of defeating the beast of a mountain. Yet, what fear that holds me captive is what is on the other side of the mountain? What if I get to the top of this mountain only to find that the mountain just continues, or worse, there is a bigger mountain ahead? The fear of the unknown is sometimes scarier than the fear of the known. 

I've made the decision to climb the mountain, no matter how small the steps may be. As I climb this gigantic black mass in my life, I need to take each step as a victory and a step in the direction towards the top. When I get to the top, I'll deal with the top and what I may see; it may be another scary mountain of darkness or it may be the prettiest sunrise I've ever encountered. Only God knows. 

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